No Stress-passing

“Life is like a photograph, we develop from the negatives”. Tama nga naman, if not for the unfortunate events in our lives, we’ll stagnate and remain the same as before. Hindi tayo magiging overcomer if we don’t have trials to overcome.

Advertisements

May kakilala ka bang stress-passer? Yung mga toxic na tao na may sworn duty yata na magbigay ng inis sa buhay ng iba? Sila yung mga taong unaware na nagbibigay na sila ng “kakaibang high” sa ibang tao. Stress-passers, parang mga trespassers, pumapasok sa mga emotional boundaries ng iba para magnakaw ng peace of mind. Nagpapasa sila ng mga unwanted emotions and will leave us feeling… ‘intoxicated’.

Stress-passing.png

Pero what if tayo pala ang stress-passer sa buhay ng iba? Na tayo pala ang source ng kanilang irritation and stress? You might think, hindi kaya! Pero who knows? Sabi nga nila, it’s easier to spot another person’s flaw than your own. Kaya naman as we look through the lens of other people’s behavior, assess din natin ang sarili natin if we exhibit the same kind of ‘stressors’ we find in others.

Kung sa tingin mo ay kasing-toxic ka na rin ng mga taong gustong-gusto mong iwasan, here are some tips para naman hindi ka tuluyang iwanan ng mga friends mo.

  1. Communicate clearly

Spare yourself from some disappointments by communicating your plans, expectations, even your frustrations if you have to. No one is like Professor X na kayang basahin ang nasa isipan mo, so please do the world a favor by letting us know what you want us to do.

Tell your peers what you want to happen, and how do want it to be done. Tell your partner how you feel. Let your parents know where you are going and what you intend to do. Sabihin nang malinaw, nang klaro, para walang pagtatalo.

Kung ang mga magkakapamilya nga, halos araw-araw na magkakasama at nasubaybayan pa nila ang buhay ng bawat isa, nagkakaroon pa rin ng misunderstanding, paano na lang ang mga taong tuwing school or office hours mo lang nagkakasama? You can’t expect the world to cave in to your expectations dahil lang naisip mo ito, pero kung ico-communicate mo ito nang malinaw, it will be easier to find someone to join you in your cause.

Hindi kami manghuhula kaya wag kang pa-mysterious, uy!

  1. Increase your patience

Isa rin sa mga toxic kind of people we should stay away from ay yung mga sobrang irritable. Yung kaunting inconvenience lang, todo reklamo na at akala mo wala nang binigay na maganda sa kanya ang mundo. In contrast, those who are very patient, yung kaya pa ring ngumiti in spite of the inconvenience ay napaka-pleasant na kasama, right? Pansinin din ang hilatsa ng mukha ng mga bugnutin… ok, wala na akong sinabi.

In case you are one of this type, I encourage you na magbago ka na nang pananaw sa buhay. Mas maganda ang mundo if you’ll learn to overlook little inconveniences in life. May nag-overtake sayo na senior citizen sa pila mo sa Jollibee? Let it go! May nakatapak nang hindi sinasadya sa white sneakers mo? Let it go! Hindi inaabot ang bayad mo sa jeep ng mga kapwa mo pasahero? Sabihin m kay manong driver, ‘catch’! Nakabayad ka na, may kalaro ka pa! You can’t have peace if you won’t increase your patience.

Learn to let go and overlook minor inconveniences. Hindi lahat sa atin ay exempted sa perwisyong traffic, sa mahabang pila, sa maiingay na kapitbahay, makulit na pamangkin, pasaway na drivers, at demanding na boss. Hindi lahat ng ine-expect natin at gusto natin ay available para sa atin. Kahit mga customer representatives na tinatatawagan natin ay may hangganan lang din ang kayang ibigay na tulong sa atin, kaya learn to let go of the situation and increase your patience.

Wag kang masyadong bugnutin. Maging ubas, wag maging pasas.

  1. Speak life

May kasabihan na “life is like a photograph, we develop from the negatives”. Tama nga naman, if not for the unfortunate events in our lives, we’ll stagnate and remain the same as before. Hindi tayo magiging overcomer if we don’t have trials to overcome.

Pero iba naman pagdating sa pagiging outspoken negative. When I say ‘speak life’, I’m saying that we have to use our mouth to encourage people, not to bring them down. Nakarinig ka na ba ng taong sobrang negative? Iba pa ito dun sa taong impatient. Sila yung wala nang ibang bukambibig kundi puro negative like “hindi natin kaya yan!”, “wala na tayong pag-asa”, “bagsak na tayo, ulitin na lang natin next sem!” Nakakahawa, nakakairita. Stressful sila kasi no matter how you try to find beauty and joy, para naman silang may radar sa mga ka-negahan ng mundo.

If you are a whiner, I encourage you to teach yourself how to appreciate. Simulan mo sa maliliit na bagay – thank the cashier who took your order, thank the cute college chick na nag-abot ng bayad mo sa jeep, magpasalamat ka kay Lord kasi ginising ka pa Niya kaninang umaga! Appreciation even the smallest detail. I tell you, mag-iiba ang perspective mo.

After you learn the habit of appreciating people, you may now begin to teach yourself the virtue of blessing people. Bless them with encouraging words. Bless them with uplifting statements. Sa dami ng mga depressing stories na tinatanggap ng tao araw-araw, dadagdag ka pa ba?

Speak life to people. Maiba lang, wag naman puro reklamo.


Inasmuch as try to not allow stress-passers to ruin our emotional boundaries, might as well bigyan din natin ng chance ang iba na pangalagaan ang mga emotional boundaries nila. Kung paanong pinahahalagaan natin na hindi tayo ma-contaminate ng kanilang ka-negahan, wag din natin silang i-contaminate. Wag kang tumawid sa bakod nang may bakod. No stress-passing.

Author: Marts Valenzuela

To know Christ and make Him known.

3 thoughts on “No Stress-passing”

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s