Get to Know the Temperaments

We all need each other. We complement each other.

Personality Plus, written by Florence Littauer, is the first book I’ve read in years about personality development and ‘psychology’-related. Madalas kong naririnig yung tungkol sa mga “Sanguine”, “Choleric”, “Melancholic” at “Phlegmatic” pero wala akong idea dito bukod sa lahat ng mga ito ay tunog malubhang sakit.

Personality PlusLittauer discussed the four temperaments with much detail and rich illustrations na sobrang nakarelate talaga ako. Tawa ako nang tawa kasi her descriptions are with so much accuracy while exposing my weaknesses as if close na close kami. Nang-aano siya e. Haha! Yep, you read it right. Temperaments ang tawag sa mga nabanggit ko at hindi sila mga karamdaman. In fact, lahat tayo ay nabibilang sa isa sa mga yan. Allow me to share my insights based on how I understood the book.

Sanguine: Sila yung mga outspoken, life of the party. Sila yung typical na makwento at walang dull moments kapag kasama mo sila. Usually sila yung mga ginagawa niyong host sa mga school at office programs, yung bumabangka ng kwento, at sobrang animated kapag nagbibida ng mga recent travel photos niya at OOTDs. Ang dami rin nilang gustong gawing projects! Kaya madalas gusto nilang maging president ng klase, o kaya leader ng organization. And they win! Hindi dahil sa magaling sila, usually dahil sikat sila. Ang usual downside nila – OA. Minsan may pagka-exaggerated na ang kwento na hindi na kapani-paniwala – only to amuse their listeners. Para sa kanila, malaking dagok sa buhay kapag hindi na sila napapansin ng mga tao at ang atensyon ng marami ay nawala na sa kanila.

Melancholic: Sila naman yung mga taong polar opposite ng mga Sanguine. Sila yung usually tahimik, ayaw sa limelight, mahiyain at gusto nasa sulok lang sila. Hindi sila fan ng attention. Usually rin, sila ang mga artistic at detail-oriented. Sobrang galing nila sa analysis at matindi ang kanilang critical thinking skills. They are the ones who writes good novels and creates astounding paintings and soulful music. Kung may kilala ka na sobrang by the detail ang pag-iisip, yung ang maraming nakikitang angles na hindi mo nakikita, most probably melancholic siya. Their downside, however, is that they easily get depressed. Ayaw nila na napapahiya sila. Ayaw nila na yung plano nila ay pumapalpak at nasisisi sila. They are typical pessimists – seeing the world with dark lenses. Masyadong emo.

TemperamentsCholeric: Sila naman yung mga leader type. Strong ang personality ng mga choleric. They want things to be done, their way. Walang makakapigil sa kanila. They are most likely to climb the corporate ladder kasi they are so determined to be on top. May kakilala ka bang gagawin ang lahat para sa kanyang mga pangarap? Baka naman choleric siya, bes. Pero wala naman siyang cholera, don’t worry. Haha! If you want results, you can depend on someone who is choleric. Ang kaso lang, sa sobrang passionate niya to accomplish something, hindi niya napapansin marami na siyang nababanggang tao along the way. He wants control, and he wants it now. May pagka-bossy at demanding. Pero keri lang daw, basta umaakyat siya ng level.

Phlegmatic. Sila naman yung mga passive ang personality, the polar opposite of choleric. Napaka-peaceful ng personality nila, kaya naman you would love to hang-out with someone who’s phlegmatic. Kung may problema ka at kailangan mo ng kaibigang willing makinig, perfect companion sila. Hindi sila magrereklamo, patient sila masyado sa mga kwento mong walang tapos. Best friend ng taon. Sila din yung mga sobrang relaxed na personality na nagkakagulo na ang lahat, kalmado pa rin. Hindi naman sa wala siyang pakialam, hindi lang niya feel mapagod. Which is his downside. Sobrang passive niya and indecisive, and people thinks na wala siyang concern sa paligid niya. Kapag tinanong mo, ang typical niyang sagot “ikaw na bahala” o kaya “kahit ano, saan”. Ang reason niya for this, ayaw niyang pangunahan ang iba. His indecisiveness can also lead to katamaran, mañana, at lahat nang pwede mo pang idagdag dito.

Would you like to know what your temperament is? Take this simple test online.

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I am a phlegmatic, which is obvious kung kilala mo ako personally. Actually, nakaka-amaze how these personality types, or temperaments sheds light on how we can effectively relate with other. After reading the book, narealize ko, sometimes the problem is not in our differences, but our limited understanding of our differences. TBH hindi ko masyadong type ang mga taong malakas ang dating, aka choleric. Since phlegmatic nga ako, I feel uncomfortable when someone with a strong personality bosses me around as if I’m to no good. Pero looking beyond their “lakas ng dating” I realized that it’s just the way they are wired.

We all have differences. But we can always find something to share together. We can always learn from each other. Our differences are intended not to build a wall between us, but to make interactions more lively and engaging.

If I extend my patience and my understanding to these kind of people, maybe we can go along well. And true enough, nagagamit ko ang temperaments na ito sa aking mga relationships – friends and others. I see them through the four-fold lens of temperaments and I learn how to approach them, make them feel secured and loved.

We all have differences. But we can always find something to share together. We can always learn from each other. Our differences are intended not to build a wall between us, but to make interactions more lively and engaging. I can’t imagine how my life would be kung ang lahat ng tao sa paligid ko ay kapwa ko phlegmatic – eh di wala nang nangyari, wala nang natapos na project. We all need each other. We complement each other.

Ikaw, what is your temperament?

BASAG: A book launch with a dose of #feels

“Acting strong and tough ka pero deep inside, basag na basag ka na”

An afternoon of words and music, of numerous hugot and an inspiring story of an individual marred by heartbreak but made whole again by the grace of God. Mula sa pagiging BASAG hanggang sa pagiging buo muli. Yan ang inspiring story ni Ate Prexy Calvario, condensed in a small book guaranteed to help those who are in the process of moving on from a painful breakup. Ang mga kwento sa likod ng libro ang naging highlight ng book launching event na ginanap sa OMF Literature bookstore on May 27, syempre coupled with spoken word poetry and acoustic music.

Sino nga ba naman ang hindi makaka-relate sa mga kwentong heartbreaks at hiwalayan? Maliban na lang kung kabilang ka sa mga taong hindi pa nakakaranas na lumuha dahil sa pag-ibig, ang pagiging brokenhearted ay isang estado sa ating buhay pag-ibig kung saan acting strong and tough ka pero deep inside, basag na basag ka na. Yung one day, decided ka na to let go of the past pero marinig mo lang ang theme song niyo, cry to death ka na naman. Mahirap talaga kapag brokenhearted! Kaya naman blessing ang book ni Ate Prexy sa mga miyembro ng Moving On community.

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Ate Prexy sharing personal stories behind the book

During the book launching event, may ilang realizations lang akong napulot:

  1. Kagaya ng ex mo na hindi nagpahalaga sayo, your pain, too, shall pass. Hindi yan kagaya ng Motolite na pang-matagalan. Makaka-move on ka rin, promise. Unless mag-decide ka na magtampisaw sa sakit at bitterness, with determination and by God’s grace for sure babalik din ang ngiti sa mga labi mo.
  2. Unlike your ex na puro lang pangakong napako, asahan mo na sa moving on journey mo ay may mga promises si Lord na tutuparin Niya – that is, He will see you through. He will strengthen you. He will help you recover. He will always be there for you to give you comfort and peace. And during such time of emotional recovery, you will realize He is all you will ever need.
  3. After the ordeal of being heartbroken, you are now ready to be a blessing to others in need of encouragement and support. Magiging instant counselor ka sa mga dumadaan sa masalimuot na landas ng pagmo-move on. Maaari ka nilang maging gabay, huhugot sila sayo ng inspirasyon na kung kinaya mo, kaya rin nila. Kagaya ni Ate Prexy at ng kanyang libro, you can be the answer to their emotional need, hindi kagaya ng ex mo na kapag may need lang magaling.
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Syempre I took the opportunity to have my copy signed by the author 🙂

I am privileged to somehow endorse the book sa aking personal blog page, at nagtataka ako bakit may mga HAHA reactions sa facebook posts ko. Sa pagtatanong ko, nakuha ko ang sagot: oo nga naman, napaka-catchy kasi ng title ng libro, napaka-light, pang-masa – lahat tayo makaka-relate. Hindi lang basta broken, BASAG. Worse than being in pain, kundi BASAG. Uncommon for a published book title pero malaking tulong sa common emotional pains ng tao. No holds barred ika nga. BASAG kung BASAG. Wala nang kyeme. After all, totoo namang BASAG tayo nung huli tayong nasaktan di ba?

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Prior to this blog post, I have also written a review of the book in this link: http://bit.ly/2lH6J22

Taken from the back cover blurb of the book, let Ate Prexy do the pitch:

How about taking a special course condensed in this small book? Dahil nakagraduate na ako sa pagiging brokenhearted, baka sakaling matulungan kita. “Been there, done that” ang peg ko. Sabi ng iba, time heals all wounds. Ang totoo, God heals, in time. Through my story, let me tell you how.

BASAG: Bachelor in Nursing a Broken Heart, Major in Moving On is available for only P75. Look for the book at OMF Lit Bookshops, Passages Bookshops, Philippine Christian Bookstores, National Book Stores and other leading bookstores nationwide. You can also order online at www.passagesbooks.com.ph.

Freed

I’d rather be a servant to Jesus than a slave to sin.

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Day 23: God says you are…

FREED

One of the things na hindi masyadong maappreciate at maunawaan ng mga taong yet to be Christians ay “how come we are freed by the Lord and yet we become His servants?” Hindi ko rin ito masyadong naaappreciate at first. Akala ko ba freedom? Bakit may servitude?

There’s a biblical account about Onesimus, a runaway slave of Philemon who happened to meet Apostle Paul, which happens to be imprisoned because of the gospel. Marahil may ninakaw si Onesimus sa kanyang amo. Sa Greco-Roman world that time, kapag ikaw tumakas bilang isang slave sa iyong amo, hindi ka lang basta makukulong, ie-execute ka through crucifixion bilang deterrent sa mga slaves na magbabalak na tumakas. Bukod pa dun, slaves are considered the lowest kind of people sa social ladder. Walang karapatan, walang pag-aari, walang identity apart from their masters. Imagine yourself in the feet of Onesimus – parang most wanted.

It is to be noted that Philemon is a Christian, a follower of Jesus. Tapos si Onesimus ay nakakilala rin kay Jesus when he met Paul. So hindi na lang sila basta mag-amo, sila ay magkapatid na rin kay Kristo. Kaya nga’t hinimok ni Paul si Philemon – patawarin si Onesimus at tanggapin bilang kapatid kay Kristo. And Paul even went the extra mile – kung anuman ang pagkakautang ni Onesimus, siya na mismo ang magbabayad. Why go the extra mile for a “runaway slave”? Check the meaning of Onesimus’ name: profitable. Onesimus is a profitable part of the body of Christ. Hindi siya liability, he’s an asset.

Pero ngayon, dahil kay Kristo, tayo ay hindi lang basta malaya – may karapatan na tayong tawaging anak ng Diyos, may pag-aari na tayo, ang ating relasyon kay Kristo. Ang identity natin – Christian – one with Christ.

We are like Onesimus – servants freed from fear, impending danger from hell. Once, wala tayong karapatan, walang pag-aari at walang identity. Pero ngayon, dahil kay Kristo, tayo ay hindi lang basta malaya – may karapatan na tayong tawaging anak ng Diyos, may pag-aari na tayo, ang ating relasyon kay Kristo. Ang identity natin – Christian – one with Christ. Pinalaya tayo sa dati nating buhay. At bukod pa dun, we can be profitable in the kingdom, like Onesimus.

Pero hindi tayo basta pinalaya mula sa ating dating pagkatao para pa bumalik lang sa dati nating kalagayan. We are freed to be free! At dahil nakay Kristo na tayo, aalis pa ba tayo? Remember, if you are not for Christ, you are for the world. Walang neutral ground. It’s either black or white, in or out. Saan ka? At ang sabi nga, if Christ is in us, who can be against us?

Christ is our new Master. But unlike earthly master, He will not be mean to us, He won’t do us any harm. He wants us to have life and have it to the full. At sa lahat ng unmerited favor na ito, marapat lang na sumunod tayo at maglingkod sa Kanya. I’d rather be a servant to Jesus than a slave to sin.

Truly I am your servant, Lord; I serve you just as my mother did; you have freed me from my chains. Psalm 116:16

Lavished In Love

Naaalala mo pa ba yung unang beses kang na-inlove?

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Day 22: God says you are…

LAVISHED IN LOVE

While I’m writing this post, I am listening to NSYNC’s “That’s When I’ll Stop Loving You”. The song is about a guy na titigil lang daw sa pag-ibig kung yung winter comes on summer, at kung sakaling may hangganan na daw ang “forever”. Rhetorically speaking, hindi siya titigil sa pagmamahal.

One of the things I love about 90s music, particularly RnB – punong-puno ng emosyon ang mga kanta. Tapos samahan mo pa ng mala-dramang music videos na may pa-sway-sway pa ng mga kamay at hawi-hawi ng buhok, ewan ko na lang kung hindi ka mapa-emo. Mula sa puso, maganda ang pagkakasulat, raw emotions. Love songs talaga, hindi mga sex songs. A trip down the memory lane. Buti na lang may Spotify at Youtube, pwedeng balikan anytime ang 90s RnB.

Naaalala mo pa ba yung unang beses kang na-inlove? Yung buhos-buhos ang kilig at ang attention na ibinibigay mo sa taong pumukaw ng iyong damdamin. Sino bang makakalimot sa emotional roller coaster nang first love mo? Yung emotional bliss nang sinagot ka ng nililigawan mo? Yung tila pagtigil ng oras habang lumalakad ka sa aisle at hinihintay ka ng groom mo? Kung nasaan mang yugto ka ng iyong love story, I’m sure you will agree with me na sa buhay mo, nagbuhos ka nang immeasurable amount of love. Kung sinuklian o hindi, ibang usapan na yun.

While we long for lavish love from others, take into heart that we have already received in Christ a lavish amount of love. Sobra-sobra, more than we deserve pa nga. Gusto mo ng proof? Look at the cross. Spreading His arms, He’s telling you: anak, this is how much I love you.

Lahat tayo ay nagnanais na makaranas na tumanggap ng buhos-buhos na pagmamahal. Yung love na hindi kinukwenta, boundless at unconditional. Pero sa takbo ng mga relationships ngayon sa mundo, medyo nagiging incapable na yata ang tao na tumanggap at magbigay ng ganung klaseng pag-ibig. Iba rin kasi ang influence ng media, ng mga failed stories at syempre, dahil na rin sa selfishness ng tao. Nagiging bukambibig na rin nga, kahit ng mga bata na “walang poreber” na hindi natin alam kung san ba talaga nanggaling. Medyo distorted na ang perspective ng tao pagdating sa pag-ibig.

While we long for lavish love from others, take into heart that we have already received in Christ a lavish amount of love. Sobra-sobra, more than we deserve pa nga. Gusto mo ng proof? Look at the cross. Spreading His arms, He’s telling you: anak, this is how much I love you. Kung ang ibang tao hindi tayo kayang ibigin ng totoo, kay Kristo makakasumpong tayo ng higit pa sa kayang ibigay ng sinumang tao. We are lavished in love.

Imagine God serenading you with his own version of love song, mas emosyonal pa kaysa NSYNC:

See what great love the Father has lavished on us, that we should be called children of God! And that is what we are!

1 John 3:1

A Work of Art

We may not be artistic but we are all work of art.

Day 21: God says you are…

A WORK OF ART

I am no artist. Wala nga yata akong kahit kaunting bahid ng creativity sa pagkatao ko. OK, exaggerated yung statement ko. While many people say na ang hilig ko sa pagsusulat ay form of art na on itself, which I agree naman, for me kasi art = design, kung saan wala akong talent.

Recently lang I was asked to be interviewed on video for a school project. Bukod sa pagiging introvert, I felt din na hindi ako magre-register nang maayos sa harap ng camera. Mahina ang loob ko mababa ang self-esteem. Hindi ako sanay sa attention. Kaya nga siguro blogging at hindi thru vblogs ang extension ko ng sarili.

At kung sakali man na iniisip mo na yung absence mo wouldn’t make a difference, you are badly mistaken. Ang totoo, He can’t afford to lose you that He went as far as dying for our sins so we wouldn’t be absent kapag nagcelebrate na tayo sa heaven.

There are times when we just feel so ordinary, too common. Yung pakiramdam ba na kahit mawala ka as pack, your absence wouldn’t make any difference sa totality ng package. Dahil sa mga ganitong tingin natin sa ating sarili kaya lalong bumababa ang pagpapahalaga natin sa kung sino ba talaga tayo sa harapan ni Kristo. Yes, myself included. #NoteToSelf

But the thing is, we are very significant. Hindi lang tayo basta bilang sa general population. Hindi lang tayo basta pampasikip sa mundo. If this is so, God wouldn’t concern Himself creating us uniquely. Sana identical na lang tayo lahat, which we will all agree with me na #boring.

We may not be artistic but we are all work of art. Special creation tayo ni Lord. Special project. Hindi tayo hinulma sa iisang molde – we were all create uniquely and purposefully. May kanya-kanya tayong calling, designed and aligned sa intricate plans ni Lord. At kung sakali man na iniisip mo na yung absence mo wouldn’t make a difference, you are badly mistaken. Ang totoo, He can’t afford to lose you that He went as far as dying for our sins so we wouldn’t be absent kapag nagcelebrate na tayo sa heaven. We are His prized posession. We are His work of art.

For we are God’s handiwork, created in Christ Jesus to do good works,which God prepared in advance for us to do.

Ephesians 2:10

Chosen

Jesus has chosen us even before the creation of the world.

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Day 20: God says you are…

CHOSEN

Alam mo ba yung domino effect sa relationship? Yung na-fall ka sa kanya, pero na-fall siya sa iba. Parang domino. Ang sakit di ba? Masakit talaga kapag hindi ka pinipili ng taong kulang na lang ay ipagsigawan mo sa buong mundo kung gaano siya kahalaga sayo.

This is one reality I’ve learned after posting something sa Facebook page ko then receiving comments kung gaano sila nasaktan for being forsaken, neglected, ignored. Yung pilit silang kumakapit pero binitiwan na sila. Sinukuan na sila. Ang daming nakakarelate. Ang dami palang may hugot sa buhay. Madaming hindi pinili.

Kahit hindi ka nila piliin, mahalaga ka pa rin. Alam mo ba kung bakit? Kasi may nauna nang pumili sayo at nagbigay ng worth. In fact, He died for you when no one else would.

Madalas kasi kapag hindi ka pinili pakiramdam mo worthless ka na e. Pero hindi yan totoo. Your worth is never determined by people who choose to desert you. Ikaw ay nananatiling ikaw. Kahit hindi ka nila piliin, mahalaga ka pa rin. Alam mo ba kung bakit? Kasi may nauna nang pumili sayo at nagbigay ng worth. In fact, He died for you when no one else would.

Jesus has chosen us even before the creation of the world. Ang lalim ano? Parang ang hirap intindihin. Paano akong pipiliin e wala pa nga ang mundo at hindi pa ako pinapanganak? Pero ganun ang sabi sa Bible e, God has a wonderful plan for us. Hindi pa man nagkakakilala ang ating mga magulang, chosen na tayo. Isn’t it comforting and overwhelming? Ano naman kung i-reject ako ng buong mundo? E si Lord naman ang pumili sa akin.

At ang pagkakapiling ito ay hindi basta-basta. He has predestined us for a purpose. He has chosen us for His glory. Nothing beats that privilege of giving glory to the Lord of Glory.

But you are a chosen people, a royal priesthood, a holy nation, God’s special possession, that you may declare the praises of him who called you out of darkness into his wonderful light.

1 Peter 2:9

Healed

He wants to heal you and make you whole.

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Day 19: God says you are…

HEALED

First month ko pa lang sa bago kong trabaho that time, nagkasakit ako. Bihira akong magkasakit, thanks be to God, pero that time bedridden ako for days. Hindi ako sanay, hindi ako komportable (sino ba, kapag may sakit?). Minsan ka na nga lang mapahinga, may sakit ka pa.

Pero the moment na pinagpawisan ako at guminhawa ang pakiramdam ko, biglang nawala ang lahat ng worries ko. Worries na wala akong suswelduhin dahil hindi ako nakakapasok, at worries na baka lumala pa ang nararamdaman kong discomfort sa katawan. Praise be unto God from whom all healing comes from.

Sa panahon ng ating mga karamdaman, asahan nating si Hesus ay always ready na magbigay ng kagalingan. Ang totoo, sa original plan Niya sa sangkatauhan, ang design Niya ay tayo’y kumpleto at fully functioning.

Ayaw natin na nagkakasakit. Yung pakiramdam na nababawasan ka ng pwedeng gawin. Nagiging immobile ka for a while. Hindi ka makagala, wala kang panlasa, mabigat ang katawan. Alam nating hindi ito ang function ng ating katawan – we are made to be whole and to function wholly.

Sa panahon ng ating mga karamdaman, asahan nating si Hesus ay always ready na magbigay ng kagalingan. Ang totoo, sa original plan Niya sa sangkatauhan, ang design Niya ay tayo’y kumpleto at fully functioning. Ngunit dahil sa effects ng kasalanan at disobedience ng tao sa Kanyang original plan, sickness entered the scene. Kaya nga pagdating ng araw na tayo’y dadalhin na Niya sa Kanyang kaharian, no more sickness, no more pain, no more tears, no more deformities.

Remember, God is our divine healer. He wants to heal you and make you whole. Hindi Niya gusto na naghihirap ang mga anak Niya physically dahil ang gusto Niya, we enjoy His creation, His purposes for us. Kaya’t kung may sakit ka ngayon, kung may nararamdaman kang hindi tama, ask the Lord to heal you. After that, trust His heart and His plans for your life. He knows what’s best for you and for His glory.

He heals the brokenhearted and binds up their wounds.

Psalm 147:3