The Gift of Acceptance

The Bible says that it is more blessed to give than to receive, which is definitely true. Have you ever felt the unexplainable emotional bliss whenever you add value to a person by giving a part of yourself? Hindi dahil sa gusto mong magyabang or iparamdam na mas nakakaangat ka sa iba, rather you see a need, and you are prompted to act upon that need.

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The ability to give is what makes human. There may be faunas who are capable of selflessness but humanity is endowed with a capacity to think freely, and so to give freely. Di naman siguro tayo mas madamot pa sa mga hayop di ba?

Pero kakabig ako: while we may be wired with the ability to give, minsan nga siguro may pagkamadamot din tayo. Not only in terms of material generosity but also when it comes to treating ourselves better. Minsan madamot tayo sa sarili natin. We deprive ourselves with things that would make us a better – a better giver, a better person. Some of us look out for the interest of others while failing to recognize that we too have our own special needs. In the long run, we may be setting ourselves for destruction.

Are you depriving yourself of significant things? Let me propose things you might have missed out lately:

  1. Accept that some people are better than you

If you are a competitive type of person, this will pose as a challenge. But in one way or another, in reality, there will always be people who can do better than you. You just have to accept that. In looks, in skills, in charisma and even in connections, some are just gifted with much more privilege than you. Does it mean that you are born a loser? Not at all! Their advantages does not mean you are a failure. We are all on a different race so what if they are differently gifted than you? Mind your own race. Treat them as an inspiration, not as a distraction. Wag magmukmok dahil lang naiiba sila.

  1. Accept that there are things you can no longer change

Sometimes we dwell on the past and we regret things we should have done. But past is past, and no one can change it. However, you have total control of your decisions now, and you can make right choices today. Looking back on the good ‘ol days and being caught up with “what ifs” will only slow down your journey. Move on na!

  1. Accept that not everyone will like you or the things you do

You cannot please everybody. Kung sa loob nga ng bahay may di pagkakasunduan, how much more sa labas where we mingle on a daily basis with hundreds of people with different attitudes and upbringing. Not everyone will like you or the things you do because at times they have their own agenda to push through. Might as well learn to be patient with people, habaan ang pisi, and keep your feet on the ground. Humility exalts a person, pride causes downfall. Marahil may ibang pagkakataon pa para sa ideas mo. Or maybe not…

  1. Accept that some of your plans will never see the light of day

All I ever wanted is to have a professional license as a CPA (pero before gusto ko rin maging engineer). All along, after all the efforts and sacrifices I went through, I thought dire-diretso na ako sa path na dinadaanan ko. Until I was led to ministry. Ngayon, nauna na ang ministerial license ko bago ko pa man makuha ang professional license na pinangarap ko noon. Without any regrets, I am happy with the sudden turn of events in my life. I know God have redirected me because He has better in store for me on where I am now. Maybe in your life as well, there are redirections that causes your plans to be misaligned or totally dismissed, but it doesn’t matter that God does not honor your plans. Most of the time He takes away things we value the most so He can give us things that we need and will enjoy the most, all because He values us the most.

  1. Accept that some people are not meant for keeps

This is a sad truth but it needs full acceptance – not everyone are meant for keeps. May aalis at aalis, physically, emotionally or even literally as they are returning to the Lord. Again, this is painful. We invest too much on a person but then we’ll never know if they will stay or not.  We can’t have a person forever. And my realization is this: the reason why God wants us to put Him first kasi people have this tendency to hurt and disappoint us. That is human nature. Kung ang buong buhay natin ay iaalay natin sa tao na hindi naman natin hawak ang decisions, and emotions, not even their lifespan, we are bound to disappointment, pain and frustration. Paano kung sobrang attached ka na then biglang bumitaw na siya? But God will never hurt us, leave us nor forsake us. People come and go, but God is here to stay with us. And someday soon, He will come for us.

  1. Accept that there will always be room for improvement

No one has ever attained perfection. Palaging may room for improvement. We may have invested a lot of sweat and effort, resources and even tears to develop ourselves, but there will always be something to improve upon. We can never be kind enough, kasi there will always be people to express our kindness to. We can never be generous enough, kasi hindi naman nauubos ang mga taong may pangangailangan. We can never be humble enough – kasi the mere fact you are asking yourself if you are humble, you are already in need of it. And when it comes to physical projects, we need to keep on improving kasi the world and its needs are constantly changing. One day sensational ang idea mo, the following day obsolete na yan. Keep on improving.

  1. Accept that pain is inevitable no matter how hard you try to avoid it

Lastly, accept that pain is inevitable. You can never guard yourself from pain. The primary reason is that we are social beings. We deal with people, we interact with them and share our lives with them. Some people can be rude to us, some can be too self-centered. Some are too passive while some are so pushy. Relationships can be messy, but it is always worth the mess. As you may have caused pain and grief to people without you knowing (o kahit pa aware ka), some people will cause you pain and grief kahit pa anong ilag at salag mo. Moreover, pain keeps us stronger. Battle scars indicate us being a fighter.

Think about these things. Masyado ka na bang nagiging madamot sa sarili mo? Accept these truths and set yourself free. Soon enough you’ll find yourself more suited to bless others more.

 

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No Stress-passing

“Life is like a photograph, we develop from the negatives”. Tama nga naman, if not for the unfortunate events in our lives, we’ll stagnate and remain the same as before. Hindi tayo magiging overcomer if we don’t have trials to overcome.

May kakilala ka bang stress-passer? Yung mga toxic na tao na may sworn duty yata na magbigay ng inis sa buhay ng iba? Sila yung mga taong unaware na nagbibigay na sila ng “kakaibang high” sa ibang tao. Stress-passers, parang mga trespassers, pumapasok sa mga emotional boundaries ng iba para magnakaw ng peace of mind. Nagpapasa sila ng mga unwanted emotions and will leave us feeling… ‘intoxicated’.

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Pero what if tayo pala ang stress-passer sa buhay ng iba? Na tayo pala ang source ng kanilang irritation and stress? You might think, hindi kaya! Pero who knows? Sabi nga nila, it’s easier to spot another person’s flaw than your own. Kaya naman as we look through the lens of other people’s behavior, assess din natin ang sarili natin if we exhibit the same kind of ‘stressors’ we find in others.

Kung sa tingin mo ay kasing-toxic ka na rin ng mga taong gustong-gusto mong iwasan, here are some tips para naman hindi ka tuluyang iwanan ng mga friends mo.

  1. Communicate clearly

Spare yourself from some disappointments by communicating your plans, expectations, even your frustrations if you have to. No one is like Professor X na kayang basahin ang nasa isipan mo, so please do the world a favor by letting us know what you want us to do.

Tell your peers what you want to happen, and how do want it to be done. Tell your partner how you feel. Let your parents know where you are going and what you intend to do. Sabihin nang malinaw, nang klaro, para walang pagtatalo.

Kung ang mga magkakapamilya nga, halos araw-araw na magkakasama at nasubaybayan pa nila ang buhay ng bawat isa, nagkakaroon pa rin ng misunderstanding, paano na lang ang mga taong tuwing school or office hours mo lang nagkakasama? You can’t expect the world to cave in to your expectations dahil lang naisip mo ito, pero kung ico-communicate mo ito nang malinaw, it will be easier to find someone to join you in your cause.

Hindi kami manghuhula kaya wag kang pa-mysterious, uy!

  1. Increase your patience

Isa rin sa mga toxic kind of people we should stay away from ay yung mga sobrang irritable. Yung kaunting inconvenience lang, todo reklamo na at akala mo wala nang binigay na maganda sa kanya ang mundo. In contrast, those who are very patient, yung kaya pa ring ngumiti in spite of the inconvenience ay napaka-pleasant na kasama, right? Pansinin din ang hilatsa ng mukha ng mga bugnutin… ok, wala na akong sinabi.

In case you are one of this type, I encourage you na magbago ka na nang pananaw sa buhay. Mas maganda ang mundo if you’ll learn to overlook little inconveniences in life. May nag-overtake sayo na senior citizen sa pila mo sa Jollibee? Let it go! May nakatapak nang hindi sinasadya sa white sneakers mo? Let it go! Hindi inaabot ang bayad mo sa jeep ng mga kapwa mo pasahero? Sabihin m kay manong driver, ‘catch’! Nakabayad ka na, may kalaro ka pa! You can’t have peace if you won’t increase your patience.

Learn to let go and overlook minor inconveniences. Hindi lahat sa atin ay exempted sa perwisyong traffic, sa mahabang pila, sa maiingay na kapitbahay, makulit na pamangkin, pasaway na drivers, at demanding na boss. Hindi lahat ng ine-expect natin at gusto natin ay available para sa atin. Kahit mga customer representatives na tinatatawagan natin ay may hangganan lang din ang kayang ibigay na tulong sa atin, kaya learn to let go of the situation and increase your patience.

Wag kang masyadong bugnutin. Maging ubas, wag maging pasas.

  1. Speak life

May kasabihan na “life is like a photograph, we develop from the negatives”. Tama nga naman, if not for the unfortunate events in our lives, we’ll stagnate and remain the same as before. Hindi tayo magiging overcomer if we don’t have trials to overcome.

Pero iba naman pagdating sa pagiging outspoken negative. When I say ‘speak life’, I’m saying that we have to use our mouth to encourage people, not to bring them down. Nakarinig ka na ba ng taong sobrang negative? Iba pa ito dun sa taong impatient. Sila yung wala nang ibang bukambibig kundi puro negative like “hindi natin kaya yan!”, “wala na tayong pag-asa”, “bagsak na tayo, ulitin na lang natin next sem!” Nakakahawa, nakakairita. Stressful sila kasi no matter how you try to find beauty and joy, para naman silang may radar sa mga ka-negahan ng mundo.

If you are a whiner, I encourage you to teach yourself how to appreciate. Simulan mo sa maliliit na bagay – thank the cashier who took your order, thank the cute college chick na nag-abot ng bayad mo sa jeep, magpasalamat ka kay Lord kasi ginising ka pa Niya kaninang umaga! Appreciation even the smallest detail. I tell you, mag-iiba ang perspective mo.

After you learn the habit of appreciating people, you may now begin to teach yourself the virtue of blessing people. Bless them with encouraging words. Bless them with uplifting statements. Sa dami ng mga depressing stories na tinatanggap ng tao araw-araw, dadagdag ka pa ba?

Speak life to people. Maiba lang, wag naman puro reklamo.


Inasmuch as try to not allow stress-passers to ruin our emotional boundaries, might as well bigyan din natin ng chance ang iba na pangalagaan ang mga emotional boundaries nila. Kung paanong pinahahalagaan natin na hindi tayo ma-contaminate ng kanilang ka-negahan, wag din natin silang i-contaminate. Wag kang tumawid sa bakod nang may bakod. No stress-passing.

Bili na kayo ng Church

“The institution is human, it is the identity that is divine”

Iba rin talaga ang nagagawa ng kawalan ng internet connection, much more cellphone signal. I recently attended a Pastors’ and Workers’ Retreat and I can attest to a very significant effect of internet connectivity (or the lack thereof) on human interactions. Mas authentic and tawanan, mas totoo ang kwentuhan, mas buhay ang hagalpakan. In this world digital connectivity, we need to establish more often the significance of genuine relational connections.

Bili na Kayo ng Church

Isa pa sa major feat na naranasan ko while on that retreat ay nakatapos ako ng isang libro in one seating. Dahil wala akong cellphone na need constantly i-check during break periods, I really felt like I am one with nature that time, at parang kausap ko lang in person ang mga characters ni Kuya Rei Lemuel Crizaldo, ang author ng Bili na Kayo ng Church. Ang unusual ng title ano? Pero sa title pa lang, magkakaroon ka kaagad ng idea what the book is about – the emerging commercialization of the church.

What’s interesting about this book is that it is presented in a “he said, she said” format. Para kang nakikinig ng usapan ng magkaibigang sina Sef and Nivz habang nagbabatuhan sila ng mga arguments about the church – answering our questions that we dare not ask sa mga church leaders natin. Sabi nga sa blurb ng libro, “ang pagpili ba ng church ay parang pagsha-shopping lang para sa bagong gadget? Sa dami ng nagsusulputang churches, alin kaya ang dapat mong puntahan? Kung lahat sila ay mag-iinvite sa iyo, anong gimik kaya nila ang makakahatak sa iyo?”

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Sef and Nivz presented our view of the church in opposing spectrums: one, that it must uphold and maintain its traditions despite the changing times and two, that it has to adapt to the cultural and preferential shifts of the churchgoers. Sa dalawang panig na pinakikinggan ko (err, binababasa), sa totoo lang nalito ako kung saan nga ba ang bias ko: I can identify with Sef and his frustrations with the institutionalized church, na hindi na tayo kinakikitaan ng mga pag-uugali na unang ipinakita ng early church fathers natin – pag-ibig, pagkakaisa, Christlikeness. I do also agree with Nivz, lalo na sa encouragement niya na huwag tayong mawalan ng pag-asa sa church dahil lang sa dungis ng mga taong bumubuo nito. If Jesus died for the church, why should we give up on her?

Nagpatikim din si Kuya Rei ng interesting facts about the church history in this book. Maging yung iba’t ibang mukha ng iglesia natin ngayon ay ipinakita rin niya: cell churches, house churches, community churches, traditional churches, mega churches, digital churches. May pros and cons. Ngunit kung ang tanong mo ay “should I stay or should I go?” at “if I stay, where do I stay?” ikaw na ang bahalang sumagot niyan based on your convictions. Ang masasabi ko lang, I appreciate how God sometimes lead us to questions unanswerable by either yes or no so we’ll learn to listen to Him intently, even in matters such as leaving or staying in a specific church family.

Before I end this post, I’d love to share this statement from Sef. Pertaining to church, he says “the institution is human, it is the identity that is divine”.

Actually habang binabasa ko ang libro, it’s as if my questions were being articulated and presented to me. Hindi lang pala ako ang may mga frustrations sa institutionalized church in general. Hindi lang pala ako ang nagtatanong, “why does it hurt to be in church?”. Pero through the years that I’ve stayed and served in the church, I began to love it not because of its flaws but in spite of it.

Grab a copy on Bili na Kayo ng Church available in all OMF and Philippine Christian Bookstores.

Use Data to See Photos

Sa panahon ngayon, hindi na lang sa mga eyeball, mga dokumento at mga binibiling produkto tayo napepeke.

Wala ka nang load pero kating-kati ka na na bisitahin ang newsfeed mo. Mabuti na lang at may free data service ang network mo. Habang busy ka sa pag-puso at pag-haha sa mga status ng mga beshiewaps mo sa facebook, biglang napukaw ang atensyon mo sa isang “balita” tungkol sa paborito mong artista na diumano’y pumanaw na kamakailan lang. Dala marahil ng masidhing emosyon, agad-agad din ay pinindot mo ang share button. Sayang, hindi mo nakita na kahina-hinala pala yung link, sabi kasi sa newsfeed mo “use data to see photo”, at wala kang load.Screenshot_2016-06-08-08-51-59-1

Fake. Peke. Hindi totoo.

Sa panahon ngayon, hindi na lang sa mga eyeball, mga dokumento at mga binibiling produkto tayo napepeke. As if hindi pa sapat na naloloko na tayo sa pag-ibig, pati rin pala sa mga impormasyon naloloko na rin tayo. Ika nga ng mga pantas sa social media, hindi lahat ng nababasa natin online ay dapat paniwalaan.

Nalinlang ka na rin ba ng mga fake news na nagkalat sa social media? Yung paniwalang-paniwala ka at nagpupuyos na ang damdamin mo tapos kalokohan lang pala ang lahat? Bago ka pa makahanap ng kaaway online o makatisod ng mga taong mas gullible sayo, narito ang ilang elemento ng isang fake news at kung paano mo makikilala ang PEKE sa hindi.

PPaninira. Madali mong makikilala ang isang fake news kung masyadong biased ang nilalaman nitong impormasyon. Hindi lang basta biased, mapanira pa ng reputasyon. Kaya’t mainam na basahin mo munang mabuti ang nilalaman bago ka mag-react. Objective pa ba ang sinasabi ng artikulo o ito’y opinyon lang na inilahok sa mga elemento ng balita? Maging mapanuri. Kung sa tantya mo ay sa halip na magbigay ng objective at factual na balita ang binabasa mo ay nanghihimok lang ito na maniwala ka na napakawalang-kwenta ng isang tao o grupo, o di kaya naman ay sinisiraan lang ang reputasyon ng iba, baka naman propaganda lang ang binabasa mo at hindi balita. Peke yan, bes. Mas peke pa sa kilay ng kapitbahay mo.

EEngaging title. Ito ang pinaka-effective sa lahat ng strategies ng mga tagapagpakalat ng fake news. Kaya ka nga napa-comment ng “PAWER” at napapindot ng share e. Ang isang fake news ay nagtatago sa isang napaka-engaging na title para maka-attract ng maraming readers. Naaalala mo pa ba yung mga links na patay na raw si ganito, si ganyan tapos may year pa? Sino ba naman ang hindi magiging curious dun, e lodi mo yun? Though hindi naman lahat ng may engaging title ay automatic fake news na, pero majority ng fake news ay kailangan magkaroon ng very catchy title para bumenta. Wag umasa lang sa free data at bumuo agad ng opinyon base lang sa title. At lalong wag agad ma-fall, kaya tayo nasasaktan e.

KKahina-hinala. Ang sabi nga sa isang TVC, “check the label”. Pagdating sa mga articles online, check the source. Wag mapagpatol. Sino ba ang nagsulat? Credible news agency ba? Ok sige, sabihin na natin na hindi ka masyadong bilib sa mainstream media, pero verified ba at supported ng facts and research ang balitang binabasa mo? Baka naman chismis lang. Bago ka mag-react, tignan mo kung sino ang nagsulat, cross-check mo kay google mo kung may iba pang nagsulat tungkol sa isyu na yun. Kung walang katulad na balita, magduda ka na. Kung sakaling statement naman ito ng isang prominenteng tao, bago ka mag-judge, i-check mo rin muna kung talaga bang sinabi niya ito, at kung ano ang konteksto kung bakit sinabi. Linawan ang mata, dahil pati website url nakakalinlang na.

EEmergent. Ang mga fake news, usually parang kabute kung magsulputan sa social media newsfeeds natin. Sunod-sunod, paulit-ulit, daig pa ang ex mong makulit. Minsan pa, kahit galing sa iba’t ibang pages at websites, pare-pareho ng naman ng caption, ng title at ng content. Yan ay dahil ang mga ito ay pinapaikot ng makinarya ng mga taong may masamang motibo sa pagpapakalat ng maling impormasyon. Kaya naman kapag napapansin mo na parang copy-paste na lang ang mga articles sa mga nauna mo nang nabasa, magtaka ka na. Isa talaga sa mga layunin ng mga fake news generator ay maging viral ang post nila sa pamamagitan ng mga gullible at hindi nagbabasang mga mambabasa. Kaya wag ka nang makisama. Don’t click that share button! You are wiser than that.

Umiwas sa P.E.K.E.

Nabubuhay tayo sa social media generation na ang lahat ay malayang magsabi ng sariling opinyon sa isang online platform. Ngunit hindi lahat ng nakapost online ay dapat mong paniwalaan. Pero maaari mo namang hingin ang tulong ng iba para naman mas factual and grounded ang tatayuan mong opinyon. Wag kang mahihiyang magtanong: Totoo ba? Hindi naman nakakabawas ng pagkatao ang fact-checking. Personally, I believe nakaka-cool pa nga ito. Haha!

Magkakaiba man tayo ng political preferences pero alam kong iisa lang tayo ng hangarin na dun tayo sa tama, dun tayo sa totoo. Mahirap naman kung puro lang tayo kuda tapos based sa fake news naman pala. Kaya ano pang hinihintay mo? Mag-load na to use that data to see photos!


Ang blog post na ito ay opisyal na lahok sa Saranggola Blog Awards 2017, Espesyal na KategoryaSaranggola 336x280.jpg

 

Inner Healing

But to those whose lives have a scar, this is my message – inner healing is available for you.

This is a tough call for those who think they are well on the inside. But this is what I really believe – most of us, if not all, need inner healing.

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Maybe once in your childhood, you have received remarkable insult from a friend or a family member. Or maybe you have been an object of ridicule in the school. Maybe you have been exposed to negative environment. Or just maybe, someone has influenced you to do the things that gives you remorse by now. Worse, in one way or another, maybe you have received physical, emotional or sexual abuse. If you are not the kind of person mentioned above, you are blessed. I am glad for you.

But to those whose lives have a scar, this is my message – inner healing is available for you. You no longer need to pretend that everything’s working out fine. You need Someone to count on to. You are in need of Someone to give you peace and wholeness you’ve been longing for. I tell you, you are meant for something greater than what you are doing right now! If your past is knocking you out, you can be free!

This Someone is no other than Jesus. He can mend your heart. He can heal your soul. He does not only make a band-aid solution to patch up your pain and scars, He can give you a completely brand new heart! Just open your life to Him and He is ready to welcome you into a new life with Him. Inner healing comes only from Him. Step up in faith and entrust your life to Him, and He will make you “brand new”.

“Therefore, if anyone is in Christ, the new creation has come: The old has gone, the new is here!” 2 Corinthians 5:17

Ang Kaserola at Kung Bakit Dapat Magtimpi Ka

May mga pagkakataon tayo na nawawalan tayo ng self-control. We suddenly snap, and things get out of hand.

Natatawa pa rin ako sa tuwing naaalala ko kung paano ko hinampas ng kaserola ang kapatid ko nang minsang napikon ako sa sobrang kakulitan niya. Pero sa halip na maging disciplinary moment ang nangyari, nauwi lang kami sa tawanan. Bukod kasi sa nayupi ang kaserola, ni hindi man lang niya ininda ang paghampas ko sa kanya (mas malaking tao sa akin ang kapatid ko). Mas lalo pa nang nagsimulang maging sarcastic ang kapatid ko dahil sa nangyari, for me to realize na nag-shift na pala ang senaryo – ako na ngayon ang haharap sa disciplinary moment sa nanay ko dahil sa kaserolang inagrabyado ko.

Kaserola

May mga pagkakataon tayo na nawawalan tayo ng self-control. We suddenly snap, and things get out of hand. Sometimes we justify that this is plainly normal. May kanya-kanya tayong saturation point, na kapag na-trigger ay bigla na lang tayong sasabog. Parang isang baso na kapag napuno ng tubig at umapaw bahala na kung ano ang mabasa.

City Walls

The Bible tells us that “a man without self-control is like a city broken into and left without walls” (Proverbs 25:28). During the Old Testament times, ang pangunahing depensa ng isang bayan ay ang matibay nitong pader. Kaya naman lagi itong may bantay sa bawat dako at palaging sine-secure. This is their chief means of defense.

“a man without self-control is like a city broken into and left without walls”

Kaya naman if there is a breach in the security and credibility of their city walls, their enemies can easily penetrate conquer whatever is inside, and the city is already compromised.

Likewise, ang tao daw na walang self-control ay parang bayan na walang pader. Napaka-vulnerable sa anumang atake. Masaling mo lang nang bahagya, madali nang bumabagsak. Kaunting udyok mo lang, madaling bumibigay. Marupok, ika nga.

Self-control is being able to say no when we should say no. It is the capacity to restrain one’s self against things that are prohibited, or in excess. Yung kaya mong rendahan ang sarili mo sa mga bagay na alam mong makakasira sayo.

Stitching these ideas into our personal context, how do we exercise self-control nga ba (or the lack thereof)?

On Eating, Drinking and Everything in Between

During these times where food parks sprout like wild mushrooms, sobrang tempting ang mag-try ng maraming mga delectable and instagrammable food *maya’t maya*. Lalo pa sa amin na literal na kapitbahay namin ang pinakamatutunog na food park in town. Unless you’re a professional food blogger or invited ka ni Kuya Tonipet sa PopTalk, without self-control, a person can easily give in to excessive #foodporn just to satiate his appetite. Eh kung afford ko naman, is it wrong? It’s a matter of conviction. But at the end of the day, it all boils down to the qualifying question: is my appetite getting out of control?

It is actually not an issue of the amount, but an issue of the heart. Are my desires getting out of control? Am I still in control of my desires or my desires are now controlling me?

Not just in case of eating and drinking, but also in the way we handle our finances. Where do we usually spend our hard-earned money? Weekly sa mga midnight mall sale? Sa mga unreasonable bike upgrades? Sa sugal? Sa bisyo? The list goes on. It is actually not an issue of the amount, but an issue of the heart. Are my desires getting out of control? Am I still in control of my desires or my desires are now controlling me?

Pikon-talo

Dun tayo sa mas relatable: our temper. How easy it is for others to drive us crazy? Yung tipong aasarin ka lang tungkol sa nunal mo, naghuhuramentado ka na? Yung tipong nagkulang lang ng sukli sayo yung jeepney driver, nagsusumigaw ka na? Yung sakaling natapakan ka lang ng kapatid mo at nadumihan ang sapatos mong bagong laba, nakikipag-away ka na? O kaya inalaska ka lang ng kaunti, nanghahampas ka na ng kaserola. Haha!

Siguro naman nag-mature na ako, at hindi na ako basta basta nanghahampas ng kaserola. Kahit paano natutunan ko na hindi dapat nasisira ang “wall” ng pagkatao ko ng simpleng mga pang-aasar lang o pangungulit. Hindi ako dapat madaling mapikon. Pero it is easier said than done. To be honest, while I am writing this piece medyo naiinis na ako sa mga nang-iistorbo sa akin habang nangsusulat. Pero again, note to self, hindi dapat nasisira ang “wall” ng pagkatao ko ng maliliit na bagay.

I feel sad for those na bigla na lang napapaaway dahil sa napakaliit na bagay. The daily news is filled with unfortunate stories of murder dahil lang sa saging, toothpick, cup noodles bulalo flavor o dahil nataasan lang ng kilay. We are surrounded with people with “broken walls” na any moment ay maaaring ma-compromise ang kanilang buong pagkatao.

Strengthen your Walls

A person is only as big as the thing that pisses him off. Anong nagpapapikon sayo? Anong sumisira ng mood mo? Or to state it better, hanggang saan ang capacity ng walls mo? Kaya ka bang pabagsakin ng basketball game, ng pustahan sa DoTA, o ng sukli mong dapat ay pang-estudyante?

Don’t discredit yourself by getting pissed off with trivial things. Bigyan mo ng mataas na pagpapahalaga ang sarili mo by increasing your capacity to understand people and circumstances.

Intensify your wall! Fortify your wall! Don’t discredit yourself by getting pissed off with trivial things. Bigyan mo ng mataas na pagpapahalaga ang sarili mo by increasing your capacity to understand people and circumstances. Taasan natin ang bakod, tibayan ang harang. Hindi tayo dapat nako-kontrol ng ating mga desires at lalong hindi dapat pinapabagsak ng ating mga kahinaan. At hindi tayo dapag agad-agad nanghahampas ng kaserola.

Bakit Parang Kulang?

Ruminations from recently screened Pinoy movies

Have you ever thought why sometimes, in spite of all the efforts you have put into things, at the end of the day you still feel like you’re either short changed, or worse you feel like a loser? Naalala ko yung isang TV ad tungkol sa isang bata na nag-try outs para makapasok sa basketball team pero he ended up one notch behind sa mga napili. Pero sa TV ad na yun, kahit hindi siya napili sa try outs, may noodles naman na nag-pacify sa kanya. Samantalang tayo, kahit sangkatutak na noodles pa ang kainin natin, mahirap burahin sa sarili na “sayang talaga!”

bakit parang kulang-Sa loob ng ilang linggong hiatus ko sa pagsusulat, medyo nawili akong manood ng movie na mag-isa. It actually started as an idea to cross out an item sa imaginary bucket list ko, but I found out na OK rin pala manood mag-isa. Pero ayokong masanay syempre. Iba pa rin na may kadamay ka sa pagtawa, pagtatanong at pag-iyak kung minsan.

Balik ako sa issue ko kanina. Sometimes I actually get hard on myself whenever I don’t live up to my own expectations. Minsan kasi ang taas ng standards na hinulma mo pero hindi mo nakuha yung output na inaasahan mo. Pero in reality, in life it doesn’t always depend on us. Maraming factors to consider, maraming elements ang gumagana why we end up achieving, or not achieving our desired results. What are these factors? Huhugot lang ako ng kaunti sa aking mga napanood.

Factor 1: Minsan sarili nating mga desisyon

100 Tula Poster

If you have watched 100 Tula Para kay Stella, alam kong kagaya ko, maiinis ka rin how the main characters, Fidel and Stella, decides for themselves. Siguro kung mababatukan lang natin ang mga karakter nila, nagawa na natin. “Dapat ganito, dapat ginawa mo yan, dapat kasi sinabi mo na agad!”. If the movie is about people who mess up with their decisions in life, the movie conveys that message very well. Lumabas ako ng sinehan that time na sobrang naiinis kasi they could have grasped what they really wanted in life but yet because of their irrational decisions, ayun, “nganga”. Pinaiyak lang tayong mga manonood. Ang sakit sa puso.

Pero hindi naman tayo naiiba sa kanila. We also end up making the wrong decisions. Kung sana hindi na natin pinagtagal ang isang bagay, kung sana ginawa na natin agad ang isang project, kung sana kinausap na natin agad ang isang tao… the list goes on. Minsan talaga we end up failing behind our goals kasi we choose the wrong decisions. However, these decisions must not impede us to grow. May these shortcomings serve as our launch pad to success, a pit stop to recharge and keep on fighting. Kaya laban lang mga Fidel!

Factor 2: Minsan mga bagay na wala tayong kontrol

LYSB_Poster_1Sa trailer pa lang ng Love You to the Stars and Back, nag-expect ako na iiyak ako e. Gusto ko talaga sa pelikula yung pinupukaw ang damdamin ko. Hindi ako nahihiyang aminin na mababaw ang luha ko, at gustong-gusto ko talaga kapag nalilinis ang mga mata ko. Haha! Pero honestly, medyo nabitin lang ako ng kaunti kasi di natrigger masyado nila Caloy at Mika ang tear ducts ko.  Pero their story about accepting tragedies in their life, sprinkled with their adventurous search for aliens and teenage antics is interesting enough to keep you focused. Nakakatuwa kasi medyo nakita ko yung sarili ko na parang ang tanda ko na pala, kasi I question the plot like, “Isang araw pa lang na road trip, may yakapan na? May malagkit na eye-to-eye contact na agad? Ang bilis ng emotional bond!” Wala lang, pakiramdam ko unti-unti nang nagma-manifest ang pagiging “tito” ko. Nevertheless, I love the story, siguro kasi may mga bagay na personally naka-identify ako, kagaya ng “bundok natin ito” and the setting is in Batangas. Haha!

Like Caloy and Mika, may mga bagay na hindi natin magawa kahit anong gusto pa natin kasi hindi natin kontrolado, hindi natin hawak ang sitwasyon. Kagaya ng sakit ni Caloy, yung pag-deny sa kanya ng kanyang ama, at ang pagkamatay ng ina ni Mika. Mga bagay na kahit ano pa ang gawin natin, hindi na natin kayang saklawan. We set standards, we set goals, we aim for something, then we end up feeling frustrated, hindi dahil nagkulang tayo, kundi dahil hindi lang talaga para sa atin. I remember the most intense scene sa LYSB ay yung sa bridge kung saan gusto nang magpakamay ni Caloy at nagtatanong siya sa Diyos kung bakit siya may cancer. He didn’t receive an audible answer but in the end, *spoiler* he was cured, and was given an opportunity with Mika. Kahit hindi natin kontrolado ang lahat, kailangan mo lang maniwala.

Factor 3: Minsan kinakain tayo ng sistema

Birdshot PosterI am not talking about oppa and Kdrama. I am talking about Birdshot, an Oscar-worthy movie, sobra. Hindi siya horror, pero kakabahan ka at matatakot. Ma-aappreciate mo ang cinematography at ang picturesque scenery ng isang nameless na rural area, pero gayundin manghihilakbot ka dahil kahit sa kasimplehan ng pamayanang pinakita, laganap pa rin ang korapsyon at police brutality, at kabuktutan sa sistema ng pamamahala. Ito ang pelikula na kahit tapos na ang palabas, nakaupo pa rin ako sa kinauupuan ko, nakatulala at nag-iisip, “anong nangyari?”. Pinukaw masyado ang damdamin ko. Lalo na yung huling eksena, nag-iwan ng marka sa isip ko.

Nakakalungkot na pinakita sa pelikula na ang ating mga ideolohiya, kahit gaano katayog at kaganda, ay kayang patumbahin ng bulok na sistema. Si Domingo, isang batang pulis na may puso upang maglingkod, ay unti-unting nagbago at nakiisa sa sistemang kanyang unang kinasuklaman. Dahil sa takot, dahil sa udyok ng nakararami, dahil pakiramdam niya wala siyang magawa, nagpatianod na lang siya sa agos ng karahasan at karumihan. Pinatay ng kanyang hepe at kanyang “partner” ang kanyang magandang ideolohiya.

Bakit hindi natin minsan naaabot ang inaasam natin? Dahil nagpapatianod na lang din tayo sa takbo ng mundo. Para tayong mga isda na sumasabay sa agos, ngunit sa kaibuturan ng ating puso at isipan, alam nating tanging mga patay na isda lang ang sumasabay sa agos.

Kagaya rin natin, minsan kahit hindi natin gusto ang isang bagay, ginagawa na rin natin kasi inuudyukan tayo ng iba. Ang maling sistema na hindi natin ginugusto ay nagiging bahagi na rin ng ating pagkatao. Bakit hindi natin minsan naaabot ang inaasam natin? Dahil nagpapatianod na lang din tayo sa takbo ng mundo. Para tayong mga isda na sumasabay sa agos, ngunit sa kaibuturan ng ating puso at isipan, alam nating tanging mga patay na isda lang ang sumasabay sa agos. Sabi nga sa Matthew 7:13, “wide is the gate and broad is the road that leads to destruction, and many enter through it.”. Wag tayong magpakain sa sistema.

Sidenote: Birdshot is Philippines’ official entry to the Best Foreign Language Film Category at Oscars. Kudos!

Sa tatlong factors na ito, san ka mas nakaka-identify kung bakit minsan parang kinakapos ka sa iyong goals? Pag-usapan natin yan.