The Gift of Acceptance

The Bible says that it is more blessed to give than to receive, which is definitely true. Have you ever felt the unexplainable emotional bliss whenever you add value to a person by giving a part of yourself? Hindi dahil sa gusto mong magyabang or iparamdam na mas nakakaangat ka sa iba, rather you see a need, and you are prompted to act upon that need.

Gift of Acceptance

The ability to give is what makes human. There may be faunas who are capable of selflessness but humanity is endowed with a capacity to think freely, and so to give freely. Di naman siguro tayo mas madamot pa sa mga hayop di ba?

Pero kakabig ako: while we may be wired with the ability to give, minsan nga siguro may pagkamadamot din tayo. Not only in terms of material generosity but also when it comes to treating ourselves better. Minsan madamot tayo sa sarili natin. We deprive ourselves with things that will make us better – a better giver, a better person. Some of us look out for the interest of others while failing to recognize that we too have our own special needs. In the long run, we may be setting ourselves for destruction.

Are you depriving yourself of significant things? Let me propose things you might have missed out lately:

  1. Accept that some people are better than you

If you are a competitive type of person, this will pose as a challenge. But in one way or another, in reality, there will always be people who can do better than you. You just have to accept that. In looks, in skills, in charisma and even in connections, some are just gifted with much more privilege than you. Does it mean that you are born a loser? Not at all! Their advantages does not mean you are a failure. We are all on a different race so what if they are differently gifted than you? Mind your own race. Treat them as an inspiration, not as a distraction. Wag magmukmok dahil lang naiiba sila.

  1. Accept that there are things you can no longer change

Sometimes we dwell on the past and we regret things we should have done. But past is past, and no one can change it. However, you have total control of your decisions now, and you can make right choices today. Looking back on the good ‘ol days and being caught up with “what ifs” will only slow down your journey. Move on na!

  1. Accept that not everyone will like you or the things you do

You cannot please everybody. Kung sa loob nga ng bahay may di pagkakasunduan, how much more sa labas where we mingle on a daily basis with hundreds of people with different attitudes and upbringing. Not everyone will like you or the things you do because at times they have their own agenda to push through. Might as well learn to be patient with people, habaan ang pisi, and keep your feet on the ground. Humility exalts a person, pride causes downfall. Marahil may ibang pagkakataon pa para sa ideas mo. Or maybe not…

  1. Accept that some of your plans will never see the light of day

All I ever wanted is to have a professional license as a CPA (pero before gusto ko rin maging engineer). All along, after all the efforts and sacrifices I went through, I thought dire-diretso na ako sa path na dinadaanan ko. Until I was led to ministry. Ngayon, nauna na ang ministerial license ko bago ko pa man makuha ang professional license na pinangarap ko noon. Without any regrets, I am happy with the sudden turn of events in my life. I know God have redirected me because He has better in store for me on where I am now. Maybe in your life as well, there are redirections that causes your plans to be misaligned or totally dismissed, but it doesn’t matter that God does not honor your plans. Most of the time He takes away things we value the most so He can give us things that we need and will enjoy the most, all because He values us the most.

  1. Accept that some people are not meant for keeps

This is a sad truth but it needs full acceptance – not everyone are meant for keeps. May aalis at aalis, physically, emotionally or even literally as they are returning to the Lord. Again, this is painful. We invest too much on a person but then we’ll never know if they will stay or not.  We can’t have a person forever. And my realization is this: the reason why God wants us to put Him first kasi people have this tendency to hurt and disappoint us. That is human nature. Kung ang buong buhay natin ay iaalay natin sa tao na hindi naman natin hawak ang decisions, and emotions, not even their lifespan, we are bound to disappointment, pain and frustration. Paano kung sobrang attached ka na then biglang bumitaw na siya? But God will never hurt us, leave us nor forsake us. People come and go, but God is here to stay with us. And someday soon, He will come for us.

  1. Accept that there will always be room for improvement

No one has ever attained perfection. Palaging may room for improvement. We may have invested a lot of sweat and effort, resources and even tears to develop ourselves, but there will always be something to improve upon. We can never be kind enough, kasi there will always be people to express our kindness to. We can never be generous enough, kasi hindi naman nauubos ang mga taong may pangangailangan. We can never be humble enough – kasi the mere fact you are asking yourself if you are humble, you are already in need of it. And when it comes to physical projects, we need to keep on improving kasi the world and its needs are constantly changing. One day sensational ang idea mo, the following day obsolete na yan. Keep on improving.

  1. Accept that pain is inevitable no matter how hard you try to avoid it

Lastly, accept that pain is inevitable. You can never guard yourself from pain. The primary reason is that we are social beings. We deal with people, we interact with them and share our lives with them. Some people can be rude to us, some can be too self-centered. Some are too passive while some are so pushy. Relationships can be messy, but it is always worth the mess. As you may have caused pain and grief to people without you knowing (o kahit pa aware ka), some people will cause you pain and grief kahit pa anong ilag at salag mo. Moreover, pain keeps us stronger. Battle scars indicate us being a fighter.

Think about these things. Masyado ka na bang nagiging madamot sa sarili mo? Accept these truths and set yourself free. Soon enough you’ll find yourself more suited to bless others more.


BASAG: A book launch with a dose of #feels

“Acting strong and tough ka pero deep inside, basag na basag ka na”

An afternoon of words and music, of numerous hugot and an inspiring story of an individual marred by heartbreak but made whole again by the grace of God. Mula sa pagiging BASAG hanggang sa pagiging buo muli. Yan ang inspiring story ni Ate Prexy Calvario, condensed in a small book guaranteed to help those who are in the process of moving on from a painful breakup. Ang mga kwento sa likod ng libro ang naging highlight ng book launching event na ginanap sa OMF Literature bookstore on May 27, syempre coupled with spoken word poetry and acoustic music.

Sino nga ba naman ang hindi makaka-relate sa mga kwentong heartbreaks at hiwalayan? Maliban na lang kung kabilang ka sa mga taong hindi pa nakakaranas na lumuha dahil sa pag-ibig, ang pagiging brokenhearted ay isang estado sa ating buhay pag-ibig kung saan acting strong and tough ka pero deep inside, basag na basag ka na. Yung one day, decided ka na to let go of the past pero marinig mo lang ang theme song niyo, cry to death ka na naman. Mahirap talaga kapag brokenhearted! Kaya naman blessing ang book ni Ate Prexy sa mga miyembro ng Moving On community.

Ate Prexy sharing personal stories behind the book

During the book launching event, may ilang realizations lang akong napulot:

  1. Kagaya ng ex mo na hindi nagpahalaga sayo, your pain, too, shall pass. Hindi yan kagaya ng Motolite na pang-matagalan. Makaka-move on ka rin, promise. Unless mag-decide ka na magtampisaw sa sakit at bitterness, with determination and by God’s grace for sure babalik din ang ngiti sa mga labi mo.
  2. Unlike your ex na puro lang pangakong napako, asahan mo na sa moving on journey mo ay may mga promises si Lord na tutuparin Niya – that is, He will see you through. He will strengthen you. He will help you recover. He will always be there for you to give you comfort and peace. And during such time of emotional recovery, you will realize He is all you will ever need.
  3. After the ordeal of being heartbroken, you are now ready to be a blessing to others in need of encouragement and support. Magiging instant counselor ka sa mga dumadaan sa masalimuot na landas ng pagmo-move on. Maaari ka nilang maging gabay, huhugot sila sayo ng inspirasyon na kung kinaya mo, kaya rin nila. Kagaya ni Ate Prexy at ng kanyang libro, you can be the answer to their emotional need, hindi kagaya ng ex mo na kapag may need lang magaling.
Syempre I took the opportunity to have my copy signed by the author 🙂

I am privileged to somehow endorse the book sa aking personal blog page, at nagtataka ako bakit may mga HAHA reactions sa facebook posts ko. Sa pagtatanong ko, nakuha ko ang sagot: oo nga naman, napaka-catchy kasi ng title ng libro, napaka-light, pang-masa – lahat tayo makaka-relate. Hindi lang basta broken, BASAG. Worse than being in pain, kundi BASAG. Uncommon for a published book title pero malaking tulong sa common emotional pains ng tao. No holds barred ika nga. BASAG kung BASAG. Wala nang kyeme. After all, totoo namang BASAG tayo nung huli tayong nasaktan di ba?


Prior to this blog post, I have also written a review of the book in this link:

Taken from the back cover blurb of the book, let Ate Prexy do the pitch:

How about taking a special course condensed in this small book? Dahil nakagraduate na ako sa pagiging brokenhearted, baka sakaling matulungan kita. “Been there, done that” ang peg ko. Sabi ng iba, time heals all wounds. Ang totoo, God heals, in time. Through my story, let me tell you how.

BASAG: Bachelor in Nursing a Broken Heart, Major in Moving On is available for only P75. Look for the book at OMF Lit Bookshops, Passages Bookshops, Philippine Christian Bookstores, National Book Stores and other leading bookstores nationwide. You can also order online at

Stand Up, Walk On

Our purpose in life doesn’t cease when we fail.

  • On your way home, because of the heavy traffic, you got no choice but to take a detour and pass by a place you don’t want to remember anymore.
  • You met a high school friend you’ve not seen for years and as you try to catch up with each other stories, she popped the question you are praying she’d never ask.
  • Your mother decides to turn your room upside down and while doing so, she brought to you things you have no idea that are still in your possession.


Some things happen by choice, while some things happen because it is bound to happen. Moreover, some things happen because we are the ones who lit the match in the first place, unaware of the fire that is about to let loose. Unlike God, we are not omniscient to know what will be the ultimate result of every action and decision we make. We are finite beings vulnerable to making bad decisions, leading to inescapable consequences. No matter how hard we try to guess and second guess things, we can never predict what will happen next. Even our best intentions are subject to God’s divine intervention.

So the unavoidable happens. We get hurt. We stumble and fall.

The castle we’ve been shaping and building in our mind crumbles and we end up feeling defeated and sorry for ourselves. We regret all the decisions we have made which led to our “downfall”. We analyze and think about where have we gone wrong in the process and what have we done to deserve such. And then the negative creeps into our system, blurring our view of life.

While we cannot filter what comes into our mind when we remember the horrific yesterdays we might have, we can choose not to be affected by such thoughts. We can opt not to accept our mistakes and our regrets to shape our identity.

Those who have made a mistake in the past, or even those who were wronged by insensitive people, those who cannot overcome the crumbling of their castle into pieces because some undesired cause, are facing the crossroad of choice – do I have to remain sorry for what happened, living with regrets? Or should I move on and just brush things off?

Unfortunately, some choose to wallow in the defeat-mentality, and continue being victimized by their past.

While we cannot filter what comes into our mind when we remember the horrific yesterdays we might have, we can choose not to be affected by such thoughts. We can opt not to accept our mistakes and our regrets to shape our identity.

Our purpose in life doesn’t cease when we fail; rather we are just experiencing a sudden halt, a stopover. Perhaps God is realigning your life for a higher calling, or He is causing you to stop because you’ve been running too fast, or maybe you are messing up your priorities, or His priorities for you. Whatever the reason is, you fail but you don’t have to remain a failure.

If you think you are caught up in the trap of defeat-mentality, I encourage you to stand up on your feet and take up your hopes for the future. Life still goes on. Walk on.

Saan ka nga ba Humuhugot?

Yung mas humuhugot pa tayo ng inspirasyon sa mga human relationships natin more than Him.

bakit ka nga ba HUMUHUGOT-Gone are the days na ang mga kabataan ay nagbibitaw ng mga pick-up lines at mga cheesy jokes. A few years ago, uso ang mga “ways to win her heart” at mga “how to catch his attention”. Ngayon ang uso ay mga “hugot”, na sinusundan pa ng “walang forever” at “maghihiwalay rin kayo”. Bentang-benta sa atin ang mga negosyong may kaunting touch ng ka-bitteran at encouragement sa pagmo-move on. Nagbabago nga talaga ang panahon.

Being a hopeless romantic myself, samahan mo pa ng pagkahilig ko sa mga mabulaklak na salita, tuwang tuwa talaga ako dati sa mga pick-up lines. Those catchy little phrases were my attention catchers whenever I speak before a group of youth. Pero ngayong mga salitang pa-hugot na ang in sa panlasa ng mga kabataan, medyo kailangan ko na ring mag-upgrade ng artillery ko. This is my observation sa mga kabataan ngayon – most of the time you can win their attention with your wit. Kapag may pagka-smarty-smarty ka, malaki ang chance na makukuha mo ang kanilang atensyon necessary as you unload the gospel story.

Sa dami ng humuhugot ngayon, nagiging katatawanan na siya. Ako mismo, I find most of the hugot lines on the internet both as amusing and intellectual. Nakakatuwa ang katabaan ng utak ng mga nasa likod ng mga ito! It just proves how resilient we are as a nation – hindi lang tayo sa mga bagyo at baha matatag, maging sa anumang uri ng unos na dumarating sa ating mga puso. Ano naman kung mabroken-heart? Isang hugot lang yan!

Pero ano nga ba ang nasa likod ng ating mga pag-hugot?

  1. Isa ka nang bitterana

Marahil ay naranasan mo nang masaktan, hindi lang nang isang beses kundi maraming beses na. Sa sobrang exposure mo sa sakit, naging hustler ka na. Alam na alam mo na ang pakiramdam at naging manhid ka na dito. Pero gayunman, kabilang ka pa rin sa mga umaasang darating din ang panahon na mapapalitan ng tamis ang bawat pait at lalabas din ang sweet tooth personality mo.

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  1. Lunod ka na sa luha ng iba

Sa araw-araw ka ba namang iyakan ng mga kaibigan mong akala mo kasama sa marathon kung maghabol sa jowa nilang ilang beses na silang iniwan, syempre mapapahugot ka talaga. You learn by experience ika nga, pero sa experience ng iba.

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  1. Reflective ka lang talaga

Ikaw yung tipo nang taong hugot nang hugot kahit wala namang lovelife; yung huhugot na lang bigla makakita lang ng maruming basahan, tuyong dahon o kahit gamit na tissue paper. Lahat na lang ng bagay kaya mong bigyan ng hustisya. Hindi ka man lunod sa luha ng iba, lunod naman ang iba sa kakahugot mo out of nowhere.

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  1. Add your personal reason

At walang makakapigil sayo.

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Last year dahil sa That Thing Called Tadhana, naging pambansang destinasyon para mag-move on ang Sagada. Ngayon, salamat sa bagong commercial ng McDonalds, naging mas malapit at mas affordable na ang pagkalimot kay ex – no need na para umakyat nang bundok. Burger McDo lang, mapapakanta ka na ng “tuloy pa rin ang awit ng buhay ko”.

Magandang mai-release natin ang ating mga hinanakit at pait sa buhay. Malaking bagay na ang anumang nagpapasakit sa ating puso ay mailabas natin para tayo ay makarecover. May mga therapy pa nga na ginagawa ang iba na kailangang magbasag ng mga pinggan sa pader para makapagrelease. Unfortunately for some, mas pinipili naman nila ang maglaslas. Umibig – nasaktan – lumuha – nagselfie.

Kaya nga tinawag siya na moving on ay dahil kailangan mong pumunta from one place to another – from a place of hurting and pain to a place of recovery and freedom from bitterness. Ngunit hindi magiging madali ang proseso. Sa iba, ito ay mabagal at sa iba naman ito ay madali lang, no need na sumunod sa Popoy rule na three months. Ang pagmo-move on ay hindi isang karera na kailangan mong mauna sa iba – ito ay isang paglago tulad ng isang binhi. Sa paglipas ng panahon, mas yumayabong ka at nagiging mas matatag.

May mga instances sa Bible na kahit si Jesus ay napapa-hugot din from His surroundings to drive important points para mas maunawaan natin ang mga gusto Niyang sabihin. He’s the best teacher after all.

Nang minsang kumain siyang kasama ng mga tax collectors and “sinners”, mga social outcasts nang panahon nila, pinag-chismisan siya ng mga ruling religious men. Kaya’t nagsimulang humugot si Jesus:

“Suppose one of you has a hundred sheep and loses one of them. Doesn’t he leave the ninety-nine in the open country and go after the lost sheep until he finds it? And when he finds it, he joyfully puts it on his shoulders and goes home. Then he calls his friends and neighbors together and says, ‘Rejoice with me; I have found my lost sheep.’  I tell you that in the same way there will be more rejoicing in heaven over one sinner who repents than over ninety-nine righteous persons who do not need to repent.” – Luke 15:4-7

Sa labis na pag-ibig din Niya sa atin, with deep emotions and compassion may isa pang hugot si Jesus:

“Jerusalem, Jerusalem, you who kill the prophets and stone those sent to you, how often I have longed to gather your children together, as a hen gathers her chicks under her wings, and you were not willing.” – Matthew 23:37

Sobrang mahal tayo ni Jesus and out of His great love for us, He wants us not just to know about it but to experience it as well. Ngunit maraming pagkakataon rin na nasasaktan lang natin Siya. Gustong-gusto niya tayong makausap at makasama ngunit hindi natin Siya pinapansin. Ang mas masakit pa, mas humuhugot pa tayo ng inspirasyon sa mga human relationships natin more than Him.

Maraming gustong sabihin si Jesus sa atin. Buksan mo lang ang Bible mo at mamangha sa napakaraming hugot ni Jesus – hugot nang pagmamahal at hindi ng bitterness, hugot upang tayo ay mag-move on towards Christ-likeness from a life of brokenness.

May mga hugot tayo sa buhay at kadalasan puno ito ng bitterness. I encourage you na in all of these hugot sentiments, mas humugot tayo ng lakas, inspirasyon at tunay na pag-ibig from Jesus Himself.