The Bible says that it is more blessed to give than to receive, which is definitely true. Have you ever felt the unexplainable emotional bliss whenever you add value to a person by giving a part of yourself? Hindi dahil sa gusto mong magyabang or iparamdam na mas nakakaangat ka sa iba, rather you see a need, and you are prompted to act upon that need.
The ability to give is what makes human. There may be faunas who are capable of selflessness but humanity is endowed with a capacity to think freely, and so to give freely. Di naman siguro tayo mas madamot pa sa mga hayop di ba?
Pero kakabig ako: while we may be wired with the ability to give, minsan nga siguro may pagkamadamot din tayo. Not only in terms of material generosity but also when it comes to treating ourselves better. Minsan madamot tayo sa sarili natin. We deprive ourselves with things that will make us better – a better giver, a better person. Some of us look out for the interest of others while failing to recognize that we too have our own special needs. In the long run, we may be setting ourselves for destruction.
Are you depriving yourself of significant things? Let me propose things you might have missed out lately:
Accept that some people are better than you
If you are a competitive type of person, this will pose as a challenge. But in one way or another, in reality, there will always be people who can do better than you. You just have to accept that. In looks, in skills, in charisma and even in connections, some are just gifted with much more privilege than you. Does it mean that you are born a loser? Not at all! Their advantages does not mean you are a failure. We are all on a different race so what if they are differently gifted than you? Mind your own race. Treat them as an inspiration, not as a distraction. Wag magmukmok dahil lang naiiba sila.
Accept that there are things you can no longer change
Sometimes we dwell on the past and we regret things we should have done. But past is past, and no one can change it. However, you have total control of your decisions now, and you can make right choices today. Looking back on the good ‘ol days and being caught up with “what ifs” will only slow down your journey. Move on na!
Accept that not everyone will like you or the things you do
You cannot please everybody. Kung sa loob nga ng bahay may di pagkakasunduan, how much more sa labas where we mingle on a daily basis with hundreds of people with different attitudes and upbringing. Not everyone will like you or the things you do because at times they have their own agenda to push through. Might as well learn to be patient with people, habaan ang pisi, and keep your feet on the ground. Humility exalts a person, pride causes downfall. Marahil may ibang pagkakataon pa para sa ideas mo. Or maybe not…
Accept that some of your plans will never see the light of day
All I ever wanted is to have a professional license as a CPA (pero before gusto ko rin maging engineer). All along, after all the efforts and sacrifices I went through, I thought dire-diretso na ako sa path na dinadaanan ko. Until I was led to ministry. Ngayon, nauna na ang ministerial license ko bago ko pa man makuha ang professional license na pinangarap ko noon. Without any regrets, I am happy with the sudden turn of events in my life. I know God have redirected me because He has better in store for me on where I am now. Maybe in your life as well, there are redirections that causes your plans to be misaligned or totally dismissed, but it doesn’t matter that God does not honor your plans. Most of the time He takes away things we value the most so He can give us things that we need and will enjoy the most, all because He values us the most.
Accept that some people are not meant for keeps
This is a sad truth but it needs full acceptance – not everyone are meant for keeps. May aalis at aalis, physically, emotionally or even literally as they are returning to the Lord. Again, this is painful. We invest too much on a person but then we’ll never know if they will stay or not. We can’t have a person forever. And my realization is this: the reason why God wants us to put Him first kasi people have this tendency to hurt and disappoint us. That is human nature. Kung ang buong buhay natin ay iaalay natin sa tao na hindi naman natin hawak ang decisions, and emotions, not even their lifespan, we are bound to disappointment, pain and frustration. Paano kung sobrang attached ka na then biglang bumitaw na siya? But God will never hurt us, leave us nor forsake us. People come and go, but God is here to stay with us. And someday soon, He will come for us.
Accept that there will always be room for improvement
No one has ever attained perfection. Palaging may room for improvement. We may have invested a lot of sweat and effort, resources and even tears to develop ourselves, but there will always be something to improve upon. We can never be kind enough, kasi there will always be people to express our kindness to. We can never be generous enough, kasi hindi naman nauubos ang mga taong may pangangailangan. We can never be humble enough – kasi the mere fact you are asking yourself if you are humble, you are already in need of it. And when it comes to physical projects, we need to keep on improving kasi the world and its needs are constantly changing. One day sensational ang idea mo, the following day obsolete na yan. Keep on improving.
Accept that pain is inevitable no matter how hard you try to avoid it
Lastly, accept that pain is inevitable. You can never guard yourself from pain. The primary reason is that we are social beings. We deal with people, we interact with them and share our lives with them. Some people can be rude to us, some can be too self-centered. Some are too passive while some are so pushy. Relationships can be messy, but it is always worth the mess. As you may have caused pain and grief to people without you knowing (o kahit pa aware ka), some people will cause you pain and grief kahit pa anong ilag at salag mo. Moreover, pain keeps us stronger. Battle scars indicate us being a fighter.
Think about these things. Masyado ka na bang nagiging madamot sa sarili mo? Accept these truths and set yourself free. Soon enough you’ll find yourself more suited to bless others more.